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apparently new jersey governor chris christie didn't get the memo that romney sucks at this. >> i think you will see the numbers start to move right back in the other direction. >> in whole race will be turned upside down come thursday morning. >> what are you doing, christi? >> for god's sake if romney fails to meet those heavy expectations he will lose the general election creating chaos in the republican party and leave out 2016 -- oh! >> the jersey is strong in this one. >> so all these guys to have a mild familiarity with the english language and it is considered a win. can we hear from someone not affiliated with the campaigns, what their expectation might be? >> both men have a monumental undertaking for the first debate, one of them has to come off as nicer and less air began than he really is and the other has to be zero more normal and lestrange than he really is. >> jon: then how did we end up with these two idiots? look, we are not looking for coherent ideology, americans are just looking for assurance the next president isn't going to be a weirdo. who thinks she better than
apparently new jersey governor chris christie didn't get the memo that romney sucks at this. >> i think you will see the numbers start to move right back in the other direction. >> in whole race will be turned upside down come thursday morning. >> what are you doing, christi? >> for god's sake if romney fails to meet those heavy expectations he will lose the general election creating chaos in the republican party and leave out 2016 -- oh! >> the jersey is strong in...
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Sep 25, 2012
09/12
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that's why you just casually interrupted a big fund-raiser at 10:30 at night with the mitt romney version of bed head. >> this is really a discussion about the political process of winning the election and, of course, i want to help all americans, all americans, have a bright and prosperous future. >> jon: sure, yeah, no, wow. his words say "no big deal, i want to help all americans." but his eyes and body language say "holy (bleep), we're all gonna die!" (laughter) let me give you a better example to illustrate the dichotomy between the message mitt romney is sending verbally and the message he's sending visually. ladies and gentlemen, i take you to a cruise ship somewhere in the north atlantic. (laughter) hey, ladies and gentlemen, it's me, your captain. i understand there's been some talk of ice on the star board side of the ship. (laughter) that's attracted some attention. (laughter) (cheers and applause) anyway, i-- i just want to take a moment to reassure everybody we have it under control. obviously we all look forward to reaching the other side of the ocean with everybody not in a
that's why you just casually interrupted a big fund-raiser at 10:30 at night with the mitt romney version of bed head. >> this is really a discussion about the political process of winning the election and, of course, i want to help all americans, all americans, have a bright and prosperous future. >> jon: sure, yeah, no, wow. his words say "no big deal, i want to help all americans." but his eyes and body language say "holy (bleep), we're all gonna die!"...
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wait a second, romney/ryan, romney/ryan. there we go, all right, that's great. thank you. >> oh, sweet
wait a second, romney/ryan, romney/ryan. there we go, all right, that's great. thank you. >> oh, sweet
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Sep 27, 2012
09/12
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wait a second, romney/ryan, romney/ryan. there we go, all right, that's great. thank you. >> oh, sweet >> stephen: tonight! can prayer change this election? well, picking paul ryan was certainly a hail mary. (laughter) then, obama's making us less safe. that terrorist from "homeland" won an emmy! (laughter) and my guest, author jim holt, has written a book on why the world exists. well, when two planets love each other very much they share a special hug. (laughter) the university of tennessee frat members were caught butt-chugging wine. (laughter) that sounds like some drunk ass (bleep). (laughter) this is "the colbert report." (cheers and applause) captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( cheers and applause )
wait a second, romney/ryan, romney/ryan. there we go, all right, that's great. thank you. >> oh, sweet >> stephen: tonight! can prayer change this election? well, picking paul ryan was certainly a hail mary. (laughter) then, obama's making us less safe. that terrorist from "homeland" won an emmy! (laughter) and my guest, author jim holt, has written a book on why the world exists. well, when two planets love each other very much they share a special hug. (laughter) the...
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Sep 28, 2012
09/12
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wait a second, romney/ryan, romney/ryan. there we go, all right, that's great. thank you. >> oh, sweet ♪ two... two, three... ♪ ♪ (snoring) (female giggles) bender (loud whisper): shh! don't wake up fry. (ladybot giggling) shh! my roommate's sleeping! (giggling continues) wake up already! (snorts) huh? i'm about to get down and funky with this ladybot, and i'd appreciate it if as many people as possible could know about it. now can we get some privacy?! (jackhammer rattling) (both giggling) (backup warning beeping) bender: aw, yeah! back it on up. (both giggling) (jackhammer rattling) (bluegrass music playing) ♪ hambone, hambone! ♪ hambone! okay, hambone break's over. back to the bedroom! (jackhammer rattling, pneumatic tools whirring) bender and ladybot: ♪ hambone, hambone! (groans loudly) bender: ♪ hambone! (snoring) wake up and feel the coffee! (spluttering) oh, no, i'm late for work again! (panting) sorry i'm late. well, well, well. look who decided to show up. i've had it with your tardiness, fry. i expect you to arrive the same time as everyo
wait a second, romney/ryan, romney/ryan. there we go, all right, that's great. thank you. >> oh, sweet ♪ two... two, three... ♪ ♪ (snoring) (female giggles) bender (loud whisper): shh! don't wake up fry. (ladybot giggling) shh! my roommate's sleeping! (giggling continues) wake up already! (snorts) huh? i'm about to get down and funky with this ladybot, and i'd appreciate it if as many people as possible could know about it. now can we get some privacy?! (jackhammer rattling) (both...